Whew, boy, I really didn't like G.I. Joe: Retaliation. My love of Dwayne Johnson is well-documented -- and, hey, I enjoy me some Bruce Willis. But this movie? It's just plain cruddy. I never hated G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, but I did think it was dopey and jokey and pretty forgettable. But all of a sudden, it's starting to look like a modern-day masterpiece. Yes, that's right: The sequel is so bad that I actually caught myself longing for Marlon Wayans. That's grim, folks. My review is up at Screen International.